The Christmas Food Chronicles, Vol 2

Lucky Chip – Rudolph Burger

Lucky Chip is, by my reckoning, one of the most consistently excellent burger joints in London. Quite why it hasn’t grown in the way Honest, Patty & Bun or Meat Liquor have, I don’t know. But they have always given good burger.

However, the big standout compared to others is that they consistently produce burger specials that not only look good on paper and Instagram, but also taste incredible. Their World Peace Burger in collaboration with Bleecker Street was a work of art, probably the 2nd best burger I’ve ever eaten.

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So the unveiling of their Christmas menu immediately grabbed my attention. The instagram picture of the Rudolph Burger, a deer-based offering, held it.

So a lunch date was set with a buddy, and in we went.

For me it was quite easy; a Rudolph Burger, and something else festive, so turkey nuggets jumped off the page. My friend went for a Santa’s Little Helper hot dog, chilli cheese fries & buffalo wings, which weirdly don’t seem to be on the above menu.

When the burger landed, it wasn’t the most beautifully presented thing in the world, but this is junk food, and I know how deceptive appearances can be with this stuff.

The wings and some cheesey fries arrived with it, with a mention that the rest would be with us shortly. Thus began a strange and confusing back and forth!

But first things first – the burger. I have to say, it was delicious. We were both struck at how little the burger itself tasted like venison as we know it, maybe that’s a product of it being minced and cooked burger style, but it did have a note of the gaminess you’d expect from that meat. The other fillings were generous in quantity and nicely spread throughout the sandwich, giving each mouthful a great balance of flavours and textures. The blueberry, blackberry & gin jam gave a lovely hit of sweetness and just enough acidity, which counterbalanced the stilton very well indeed. It was cooked to around medium, and even though there was a lot of juice flying around, the bun held together excellently throughout my demolition job.

The wings were decent – although that’s my verdict as someone who isn’t much of a wings connoisseur. I have to say that the pepper sauce was extremely good, delivering an excellent slap of heat to the tastebuds and having a nice thick, sticky, viscous character. They weren’t the meatiest wings I’ve ever had, and I’m not the biggest “on the bone” chicken fan in general, but yeah – these did what you’d hope, and I’d happily recommend them, although I’d have preferred a blue cheese dip to the more herby one we got.

So far so good, except for the fact they’d brought the wrong fries out, and no hot dog or nuggets. We pointed this out and they took the fries very apologetically, and promised the rest would be with us soon. And lo, the nuggets arrived.

The turkey nuggets were very enjoyable indeed – big, solid chunks of turkey breast meat, breaded and presumably deep-fried, and served with garlic aioli. Turkey being what it is, they didn’t have a strong flavour in and of themselves, but were well seasoned and the breadcrumb was pleasingly crunchy to the bite. The aioli could have handled a touch more garlic, but then I like to smash my tastebuds with a hammer with flavours and seasoning, and there was nothing really “wrong” with it, I’d just like everything to have more garlic in it really!

After a little while longer, the chili cheese fries and hot dog arrived. Look at how happy he is! This was a temporary pleasure, until I pointed out that his dog was missing it’s onions and cheese. Another quick back and forth later, and after much apologising and offering of refunds, a ramekin of lovely, sweet caramelised onions and a massive tray of grated cheese (it seemed to be something like a Leerdammer, which is great for melting in food like this) arrived.

I should note – the staff were all lovely, all this happened in a very friendly context, they offered refunds/free rounds of drinks against our protestations not to worry – it was a bit chaotic but it was mid afternoon on a Saturday, the pub was pretty quiet, I suspect there was just a slightly less-than-alert kitchen staff member nursing a hangover and taking their eye off the ball. It really didn’t spoil the experience, and they handled it like champs.

The fries were pretty good – not at the God-level of Meat Liquor’s incredible chilli cheese fries, which are possibly my favourite side in london, but these were sufficiently different to occupy their own corner of the map. The chilli contained both minced beef and pulled pork, and was very mildly spiced. The ample cheese was thoroughly melted within the mix, creating huge conjoined blobs of fries, chilli and cheese – to my mind, this was a happy outcome. I enjoyed the different textures from the two types of meat in there.

The hot dog was ok – obviously it was a bit of a cock-up how it was served, and that detracted from it. Having seen and tested the excellence of Dirty Bones’ hot dogs, this was a pretty poor effort really by comparison, although at a slightly lower price point – it didn’t look great, and tasted pretty meh. It improved hugely with the addition of the onions and cheese, and it was a perfectly decent frankfurter in there, but when you’re eating out you want something you couldn’t do at home – this, when it first arrived, looked like something I might drunkenly cobble together at home at 4am after a night out.

So all in all, a mixed bag as an experience, but a cracking Christmas burger at the heart of it. I’ve never had these service issues there before, and as I mentioned. they handled it all really well. The hot dog and sides ranged from mediocre to good – but I’d have no hesitation in recommending the Rudolph burger.

Burger – 8/10

Christmassyness – 8/10

Sides – 6/10

Service – Doh!/10

Overall score – 7.5/10

The Christmas Food Chronicles, Vol 1

Simply put, I’ll be eating and reviewing as many Christmas-related items of food as I can lay my hands on in the coming weeks in the gaps between probably the busiest month of my life, while trying to avoid becoming a total blimp.

Up first – the Honest Christmas Burger.

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I’d wanted to start elsewhere as my most recent burger review was a rather unflattering take on their pizza burger, and I was concerned that if I didn’t enjoy this then it would seem like I have it in for them, which I don’t (the Tribute is one of the best burgers in London).

But due to logistics and time constraints, this was the sensible choice, the Soho branch, just up from the theatre where me and my friend were off to watch some comedy later that Sunday night (God bless Leicester Square Theatre‘s work-in-progress events, where I’ve seen Vic & Bob, Stewart Lee and Jack Whitehall, all for about £15 each).

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Happily, it looked almost exactly as advertised, which was huge progress after the Pizza Burger Incident. The cheese oozed satisfyingly out of the huge slab of deep-fried camembert when I picked it up and aimed it towards my hopeful mouth.

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Generous blobs of thick, sticky cranberry sauce tumbled out and into the tray. I bit in, and while it was pretty tasty, the overwhelming flavour was the cheese, which almost entirely buried Honest’s excellent patty, which was done exactly as I like it, the perfect medium-rare, as requested.

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Flavours dominating others is occupational hazard with novelty specials in the burger game, and I’m certainly not saying it was an unpleasant flavour. However, I would have to say that other than the cranberry sauce, there wasn’t much about the combination I was getting that screamed “IIIIIITTTTTT’S CHRIIIIIIISTMAS” in the manner my tastebuds had been hoping. The bacon was a little lost in the mix too, smothered in an unashamedly gluttonous cheese-fest.

Christmas cheese is of course a huge part of the festive experience for many people – my family included. I’m often tasked with bringing several hundredweight of dairy up to the seasonal get together because of my proximity to Borough and Broadway markets. But if you asked me to name the definitive Christmas cheese, it would be stilton. And if you asked me to name the flavours that characterise Christmas, you’d have sage & onion stuffing, pigs in blankets, turkey, chestnuts in that list alongside cranberry sauce, with deep-fried camembert not really anywhere near my radar – maybe I’m out of the loop on that one, but that’s my perspective anyway.

The rosemary fries were standardly brilliant and generous in portion-size, Honest really do put a lot of burger joints to shame with that side of things. We tried their Christmas cocktail too – combined with the burger and fries that was a bit of a meal-deal-steal at £16, the cocktail featuring cranberry, maple syrup and bourbon, and suited the experience nicely.

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All-in-all, I’d class this as a good burger, but other than the cranberry sauce, not really a very good Christmas burger.

I have a laundry list of places I’m aiming to try out – Lucky Chip, Blacklock, Mac & Wild, Patty & Bun, Meat Liquor off the top of my head for starters – but if you have any London-based suggestions feel free to add a comment below and I’ll try to include them too!

Taste 7/10

Value 10/10

Christmasssyness 4/10

Overall score 7/10

 

When Expectation Collides With Reality

The Pizza Burger – Honest Burgers, Bank, London

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I love pizzas so much, and burgers are awesome. This has to be great, right?

I’ve got a lot of affection for Honest Burger, and regularly mention them when asked about my favourite burgers in London. I visited their original Brixton site when they only had one outlet, and have been impressed by the speed they went from 1, to 2, to 16 restaurants in under 5 years. What I’ve been less impressed by is the negative impact this has seemingly had on the consistency and standards across the group. Today, sadly, falls into that 2nd category.

At 11.05am this morning, while taking care of a bit of life admin, an email pinged through. And I was faced with this glorious sight…

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Honest Burger’s Pizza Burger, as advertised

Now, this is a sexy looking sandwich. My Facebook post received dozens of salivating replies from similarly smitten fatties. Check the description

“From the bottom to the top we kick off with homemade walnut pesto, add a 30 day dry-aged beef patty, bubbling hot smoked mozzarella, homemade marinara sauce, crispy pancetta and finish with a twist of black pepper.”

The phrase “get in my belly” has never been more apt. My mind was made up – dinner was at Honest. A few text messages later and it was arranged. 6.30pm at Honest Burgers’ Bank restaurant.

Now seems a decent time to clear the air. I’ve had very mixed experiences with Honest since they commenced their rapid expansion. When they nail it, they are in the very top tier. Their Tribute burger, when done right, is superb, a cheese & bacon burger of rare brilliance. But a few too many times things have not quite been right; burgers overdone, underdone, oversalted, fries burnt, one diner’s bun toasted, the other not, and so on. But when they have got their ducks in a row, it’s good enough that I take this chance on being disappointed. To their immense credit Honest once even found a tweet to a friend where I made some very mild criticism of a burger there and gave me a free meal on my next visit, and their staff are always friendly and attentive, and they have never had a problem with fixing things if they are wrong.

Back to today.

Me and my friend Charlotte arrived exactly at the same time, 6.30pm on the dot. Londoners, it really isn’t that hard. We always do it, and as a result we are always the first people by ages in our groups. How do people find it so hard to be punctual? Anyway, I digress. The restaurant follows their usual wooden and steel design, pretty basic but comfortably so, and we went downstairs to our booth, the restaurant having maybe only a dozen diners across 2 floors, which surprised me somewhat at that time midweek in The City.

Charlotte ordered the Tribute on my recommendation, I ordered the Pizza Burger, a bit of bacon ketchup to help the party along, a beer for the lady, and for me a very nicely presented bottomless supply of sparkling water, a bargain at just a quid (this year it’s my 4th Sober October in a row).

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Big fan of this bottle/carafe thingy

The burgers arrived, and first impressions weren’t great. I mean, I knew it wasn’t going to look like the advert, but I expected something vaguely close. I was expecting a messy beast of a burger, cheese oozing out of the sides, gravity pulling it down the sides, marinara sauce dribbling alongside the molten trails of smoked mozzarella, something more Patty & Bun than Honest’s usual style.

What I got was this.

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Now, this is where I have to be honest with myself, and you (no pun intended).

I should asked whether the mozzarella should be melted. Smoked mozzarella is a funny beast, very different to regular mozzarella balls, or the grated hard stuff you get in supermarkets for pizzas etc. But tbh, I just wanted to eat. And I guess part of me was thinking “I want to judge what they serve me, not what they serve me 2nd time round”. Also, I had managed to completely forget that they’d claimed it to be “bubbling hot smoked mozzarella”, as I was engrossed in a typically in-depth conversation with Charlotte.

I’d asked for medium-rare, and this is how it came – I’d say this is on the rarer side of things right in the centre, but nothing I’m offended by, and I’d rather this than overdone.

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You can also see that the mozzarella is a long way away from being melted – it was also cold. And again, I should have just said something – I had ample opportunity, as we were asked 3 times if everything was ok, an unusual situation. I’m not sure if this was overzealous staff (one came before we’d taken a bite, and again after, then another staff member a few minutes later), whether it was because they’d noticed me taking pics and were getting paranoid, whether it was because they weren’t confident in the chefs, or what. But either way, it’s on me that I didn’t send it back, which I should have done, as it wasn’t what was advertised and what had brought me out for the night.

The burger patty itself was typically flavoursome, the strong, savoury beefiness that I’ve come to expect from Honest, seasoned just right. I would say that next time I’d order it medium, but given that I’ve had them come well-done when I’ve ordered medium-rare, I don’t really know how to offset that level of erratic production. It’s really strange, as these guys are superb maybe 70-80% of the time – I guess it’s just a numbers game, there’s only so many staff who are reliably able to hit the mark every single time, and when you expand this quickly it must be tricky to maintain the highest standards. But they risk becoming the next Byron if they don’t arrest this trend – well known, but a 2nd division player. Byron is just a bit average – in Honest’s case, they have brilliance in their locker, but too often slip up.

The bun held together well and was pretty neutral taste-wise – it didn’t fight against the flavours it was holding, although the walnut pesto offered nothing much that I noticed (I literally forgot it was in there until Charlotte asked what that was like!). The marinara was pleasant, and had a zesty tang to it. But there was nowhere near enough of it – much had absorbed into the top half of the bun, and I was expecting it to be a messy beast to handle. Look at the photo at the top – you know full well that if you squeezed that and bit down on to it, the marinara is going all over the shop, and that’s what I thought I’d signed up for! Same with the pesto – it’s spilling all over the shop in the advert! The pancetta was great – I really liked that – very thin, with a lovely crispy crunch, and I think that makes for an excellent substitute for bacon just as a general observation, if done this way. Sometimes bacon for burgers is underdone and the fat becomes something of an obstacle to be chewed through.

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Bacon Jam is gosh-darned incredible

The rosemary fries were outstanding, as they almost always are. They seemed ever so slightly thicker than I remembered, although that might be a trick of my memory. Cooked to perfection, cripsy outside, fluffy inside, just the right amount of salt, a decent kick from the rosemary. And the bacon ketchup… the sooner Honest start selling that stuff, the better! Amazing. This stuff is actually possibly even better – highly recommend it, I picked up a jar at home in the Peak District last Christmas, yet turns out it’s made up the road from me in East London!

I demolished every last crumb in my dish, but there’s no getting away from the fact that this was a crushing disappointment. I was entering tonight thinking that this was a possibility for my favourite ever burger, and I got… that.

It wasn’t terrible, it just wasn’t particularly good either. This has happened before at Honest actually – at Spitalfields I had a special (I forget which), and again was bitterly disappointed. I should just order the Tribute, it’s genuinely superb, but they keep creating these Instagram-friendly beasts, and I keep falling for it!

A friend who works for Street Feast says she’s had it, it looked nothing like mine, and was delicious – and that may well be true, but then just adds weight to the other issue, the wild inconsistency from kitchen to kitchen. Hopefully they can address this, as Honest have it in them to be the top burger joint in London.

Pizza Burger – 5.5/10 (£12.50 inc rosemary fries)

Overall experience – 7/10

You Put Your Left Leg In, Your Left Leg Out, In, Out, In, Out, Burgers All About

So, one of the fringe benefits of my job as a DJ is having my days relatively free. I obviously still have Stuff To Do, but the deadlines are often quite nebulous and regularly have to be self-imposed. As such, when I heard earlier this week that legendary LA Burger chain In-N-Out Burger were coming to London for a 4-hour pop-up, I was pretty sure that I would be there to check it out.

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In classic style I managed to accidentally get a little drunk at the gig I had the night before, but mercifully, the texts I sent to various friends looking for the next pitstop got negative responses, and no further drinking, dancing or debauchery took place. Although I did get my ass handed to me by my flatmate when I tried to play him on the new FIFA 17 demo before bed.

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The plus side of this poor planning was that I was goddamned starving on Wednesday morning. Coffee was purchased from my favourite spot (Pavilion Cafe, by the lake in Victoria Park), and then my burger buddy for the day arrived (the wonderful Ben Gomori of Turned On Podcast, who’s made an appearance in my Mixtape Monday series). Off we trotted, heading westwards to Swiss Cottage, where the pop-up was taking place.

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When we popped back above ground and wandered down towards the venue, we were met with a substantial, but not intimidating, queue. We took our place at the back of the line after stocking up on the essentials for a potentially long wait, and settled in. Arrival time was 10.15am or thereabouts, and the pop-up was scheduled for 11am-3pm. The venue itself seemed to be fairly large inside from what we could see, although strangely little effort had been made to transform the front-end, just one banner in the window, and various In-N-Out staff members in their distinctive uniform milling about, and then a counter inside that looked like some effort had gone on making it pretty close to how they presumably are stateside.

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The queue grew steadily as we waited patiently. Various baffled passers-by took photos and asked questions, numerous reporters and journalists came by to ask questions or livestream the thronging crowd of knobheads waiting hours in line for “fast” food.

I made my first appearance within Vice and marked it with a truly awful pun. Getty interviewed me on video, I have no idea if that was used, and frankly I hope I never find out [Edit – thanks to u/RichardJohn over on Reddit for finding this, turns out they not only used me, but I was the only interviewee used! http://www.gettyimages.co.uk/license/609839490%5D.

Wristbands were handed out, enabling people to chip off and come back at their allotted hourly slot – I was given gold, the 12-1 slot. The burger tab on these wristbands made it pretty obvious that we could only order one burger each, a mortifying realisation after having skipped breakfast.

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So far, I’ve said an awful lot without getting to the point. Well, here we go. After 2 or so hours of waiting, we approached the front of the line, and were greeted warmly by Eric, a genuine American fella. He was fantastic, and superbly dealt with the multiple late-comers who tried to blag their way in to get a shirt without waiting in line like the rest of us losers.

In we went, and order we did. Disappointingly, the only side available was crisps. I want to thank my friends on Facebook for asking me why a mere 91838172581 times. Apparently it was something to do with not being able to ship the fries over or get them right in the UK or something, but whatever it was, it was very disappointing to have ready salted crisps as the accompaniment to a burger you’ve queued several hours to sample. The prices were cheap as chips, ironically enough, £3 for a double double (two beef patties, two slices of cheese) which I had “animal style” (basically with a quite sweet sauce with grilled onions), a diet coke, and those bloody crisps. I was given a key-ring and a sticker, and decided to fork out £3 for one of their t-shirts, so the whole lot clocked in at a very reasonable £8! So clearly, this wasn’t an exercise in making money…

So down we sat with our drinks and goodies, and waited for the food to come to our table. One thing I was struck by was just how many empty seats there were given how slow the queue had been moving. They were clearly managing the numbers very closely to avoid any snafus with the service I guess. The food took maybe 5 minutes or so to arrive, with Ben’s being the first to land.

I have to say, the burgers looked excellent when they arrived at the table.

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Close
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Closer
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EXTREEEEEME CLOSE UP!

And now we get to the important stuff. The burger – yes, it was good. If I had to try and describe it in a very simple way – it’s like the best possible Big Mac you could make. Does it get a place in my top 10. Nope. Was it worth waiting 2-3 hours for? Not really, if I’m brutally honest.

But it was very good. I would happily eat these on the go at the right price, the sauce, the beefburgers, the cheese and the bun were all lovely and complemented each other well. The salad – well, the lettuce was fine, but the tomato was almost ice cold. It wasn’t a huge issue, but it definitely detracted from the burger in the final judgement. The animal sauce was really enjoyable – I may well have a crack at making something like that at home, having discovered various websites who think they have the recipe worked out.

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I’m glad I made the decision to check it out, as I’ve never previously really “got” this type of burger – I prefer thicker patties with them nicely pink in the middle. These thinner patties make for a totally different mouth-feel than the “gourmet” style big burgers that dominate London’s burger restaurants – often they are overdone to the point of being unpalatable meat-biscuits, but as you can see in the photo above, these are done to perfection, allowing them to remain moist and juicy, something which the melted American cheese and Animal Sauce only serves to amplify. Even as I write this out now, I’m starting to crave another one, so maybe they did make more of an impression on me than I realised – or maybe its just because I skipped breakfast again. The crisps/fries debacle… the less said the better, I don’t really understand how they can go to all the effort of this and not be able to put a proper side on the menu. And thank you to my friends for hammering that point home, relentlessly.

In truth, it’s a little unfair of me to compare In-N-Out to the top-end London “gourmet” burger places – its niche is as a really good, but really cheap, burger. A kick-ass McDonald’s. Five Guys occupies this niche in the USA too, yet is inexplicably (and totally unjustifiably) priced as a premium burger in the UK. £3 for a Double Double, animal style… now that’s phenomenal value. If they opened up over here permanently, with prices in that ballpark, they would absolutely clean up, and rightly so. If they were a tenner… just don’t bother, please. But seeing as the last pop-up was in 2012 (4 year cycle, this year in a Brazilian restaurant… I’m guessing that in 2020 they will take over a sushi restaurant…), its reasonable to guess that they are in no rush to head over to the UK – after all, they are still limited to relatively few states in the USA, which in itself probably plays its part in creating the aura that creates such daft queues as the one I was part of yesterday.

7/10

London’s Reigning Champion – Patty & Bun

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I moved to London nearly 5 years ago, in the summer of 2011, just before the riots (a coincidence, I assure you). At that point, the “gourmet burger” scene, for want of a better term, was just kicking off in earnest. The Meat Wagon had scored a site they called Meat LiquorHonest Burgers was making waves from its first outlet in Brixton market (despite not having toilet facilities onsite, which caught me out the first time I went…) and queues for all the major players were plentiful and long.

Fast forward to now, and they are everywhere, with all manner of new kids on the block, corporate chains upping their game to try and get a piece of the action, major names from the USA coming over and proving to be all hype, no substance (Shake Shack and Five Guys really are both the epitome of mediocre, overpriced fast food from the times I’ve been, and I was stunned at the poor service in Shake Shack, given how great service invariably is in America), and the early pioneers are on the whole to be found all across the capital, and in some cases the world (Meat Liquor now has sites in Leeds, Brighton, Bristol and even Singapore).

It’s incredibly competitive, and many have a decent claim to being the leader of the pack. However, for me there is a clear front-runner – Patty & Bun.

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Obviously when picking a favourite, you’re looking for something that can scale the heights. But almost as important, is that it gets up to the top of the mountain each time, rather than wheezing about halfway up and deciding it can’t be bothered.

The only place I’ve been to that can claim that same sort of consistency in excellence as Patty & Bun is Meat Mission. At a rough estimate, I’d say I’ve eaten at Patty & Bun 10 times now (3 in Mayfair, half a dozen or so at Liverpool Street, and this trip to Soho). Every time it has been exceptional.

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Merch? At a burger joint? What is the world coming to eh?
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Cocktail people love puns.
Beefer Sutherland
Oh Lawdy

If anyone asks me the best burger in London, I have no hesitation in proffering the Jose Jose. It’s a messy beast, but worth the kerfuffle. The Sobrasada and Chorizo Relish is one of the greatest condiments I’ve ever had the pleasure of sampling, sweet, tangy, a little spicy kick, with tiny, crunchy nuggets of fried chorizo in most mouthfuls. I’ve had better (the Super Fatty Patty and the World Peace Burger), but they were one-month-only limited editions. My intention last night had been to treat myself to another one of these masterpieces, until I saw the casting call for their special, the Beefer Sutherland. The price tag was a little steep, at nearly 50% more than my old faithful, but I’m a sucker for a novelty burger, so in the order went.

Before the food, a word about the venue and service – there was no queue, which surprised me a little, even at 8.45pm on a Wednesday. I had only become aware that this P&B existed days earlier, that had somehow escaped my radar, but it seems to have been there for quite a while. The friendly waiter showed us to a table downstairs, the restaurant decked out in the pretty-standard-now “reclaimed wood and nick-nacks” style, and with plenty of nods to the history of Soho in the shape of neon lights alluding to sexy-time, and pin-up girl pictures adorning the walls. The bathroom was more than a little cosy, I popped in to wash my hands before the meal, and had to give the hand-dryer a miss as it would have probably sent the man at the urinal’s flow into the stratosphere. Not sure if this design choice is also a nod to Soho tradition. Oh, and major props on the music – on walking in they had Fallacy ft Tubby T – Big & Bashy playing (a track I must have played dozens if not hundreds of times in my hip hop sets back in the early 00s), and it was solid hip-hop and grime early on, switching to some very nice (proper) deep house later on. I shazamed a good 4 or 5 songs for future reference!

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Live sexy nudes. I saw none. I feel cheated.

The food arrived swiftly after ordering (worth noting you can specifiy how you prefer the beef patty cooked here, which is not always the case at burger joints), and without anything as boring and traditional as a plate. Personally, that didn’t bother me but one of my companions found that rather irritating, and I know many have a bee in their bonnet about this trend. The burgers come wrapped in waxed paper, which you can unfold to use as something of a bowl/plate substitute – the burgers are so juicy and the toppings so plentiful that you absolutely need this!

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The aftermath – delicious gravy to dip the potatoes in!

As well as our burgers, we order rosemary fries, confit potatoes with salt & vinegar aioli and Patty & Bun’s famous “Winger Winger Chicken Dinner” wings.

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Pre-munch.
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Post-munch.

 

The burger was, on first bite, a bit of a shock to the system. It wasn’t an unpleasant shock, but it had a very unusual flavour that I wasn’t expecting, a large part of which I think came from the pickled shiitake mushrooms. I remember seeing a Heston Blumenthal show where he went on at length about the relationship mushrooms and beef have, and how mushroom can really maximise the “beefiness” of a burger or steak. And you know what, I think he was right. There was a deeply pleasurable rich-but-savoury party kicking off in my house, and much like a flatmate who is woken by it then decides to join in because it’s there whether they like it or not, my tastebuds spent the first half trying to work out what was going on, and the 2nd half having a whale of a time. The lettuce seemed somewhat redundant, but everything else added something useful to the experience – little chunks of beef from the ragu varied the texture of the meat, the beef fat mayo was unlike any mayonaisse I have had before, while the roast onion ketchup provided a little sweetness to counteract the overall picture, that was very much in the realms of umami. The brioche bun, despite all the juices, held up brilliantly to the very last. There was a touch of Dip n Flip to the experience actually, although I would have to say that I preferred the Dip n Flip version of this type of burger, and it’s considerably cheaper. And in truth, this was not a patch on the Jose Jose, which is £3.50 cheaper.

As I mentioned earlier, the wings are famous, and for good reason. I was never a big fan of chicken wings until an old flatmate (how’s it going Harry?) started raving about Meat Liquor’s Bingo Wings, and while it was those which converted me, these are a completely different beast. They are cooked in an 18 hour confit process, and are reassuringly meaty, this meat breadcrumbed and coated in a fairly sweet, and very sticky, BBQ sauce, and simply falling off the bone the moment your mouth gets round them. There’s a hint of honey and ginger in the sauce, it’s possibly a little sickly for some palates, and a whole tub of them to yourself (which is about 6 I think) might have been too much for me, but 3 or 4 hit the spot just right. You will need the hand wipes they give you if you order these.

The rosemary fries do what rosemary fries do – these are a solid example, crispy outside, fluffy inside, I’d have preferred a touch more seasoning, but they weren’t my order, so I’m not complaining.

The confit potatoes, however, were fantastic. Basically they were tiny, brilliant roast potatoes with an excellent aoili, though I ended up dipping them in the juices that had abandoned the burger ship. I could happily be served a bucket of these potatoes, a bowl of this gravy, and just get stuck in. Incredibly crispy, and so fluffy inside – I’m not an expert, but I suspect goose fat or beef dripping or something was used on these to get this result.

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The beer was served in some sort of outsized milk bottle, which I inexplicably found really pleasant to marvel at. Maybe it was just the beer inside, I’ve not had a drink in 12 days and was on the water for this excursion.

All in all, I was yet again delighted with Patty & Bun, and relieved that I hadn’t bigged it up to my friends only to see them disappointed (this has happened at Honest a few times since they expanded so rapidly, even though when they are on point they are one of the best). The Beefer Sutherland was not something I’d order again given the other available options, particularly at that price point, but was a thoroughly enjoyable burger in it’s own right. The sides were superb, especially those wings. I know I’ll be back again, and again, and again…

Beefer Sutherland – 8/10

Patty & Bun – 9/10

 

Dirty Burger, Shoreditch

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Despite Dirty Burger being one of the more established players on the London burger scene, I had somehow inexplicably never actually been until a few short weeks ago, when a friend insisted I join him there for lunch, with the promise that it would blow my mind. Seeing as this one is walking distance from where I live (I don’t mind walking long distances), it seemed a sensible way to spend a lunch time.

So on a bright winter’s day we met around 1pm and grabbed a bench inside. Its not exactly a restaurant – much like the Patty & Bun at Liverpool Street it has a few seats if you want, but really seems to be aimed at a grab-n-go clientele. I ordered my standard order for when testing somewhere out (cheeseburger and chips/fries) and sat down to catch up with my mate. The food was ready very quickly, and so to business.

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The prices were an interesting mix of very reasonable and sort of expensive feeling. £6 for a cheeseburger is very decent in one of the new-wave fancy-pants burger joints. At Meat Mission that’s £8, which is closer to typical than the price at Dirty Burger. But then by comparison, £3.50 for fries suddenly seemed rather expensive, even though £3-4 is about standard for a side like that in most places I frequent. I guess this is all perception though, and less than a tenner for a good quality cheeseburger and fries is a decent price, especially in a location like this (right opposite Boxpark in Shoreditch in The Tea Building, home of Shoreditch House, the same people who apparently are also behind Dirty Burger).

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But I’m getting ahead of myself – was this a decent quality burger? Well, the fries were very good I thought – nice and fluffy inside, crispy outside, and well seasoned. Would happily accept those at any place, and you’d be amazed how many places do poor quality sides that seem to be a complete afterthought. These were a very good example, even if £3.50 for some cooked potato vs £6 for a cheeseburger seems a bit lopsided.

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The burger though… sadly I can’t be so kind. I won’t say it was overdone, as I didn’t think to ask how they routinely do them. What I can say is that by the standards of the competition it seemed overdone. The pic below makes it look a lot pinker than it was, and the patty, despite being in a very messy, somewhat greasy setting, was a fraction dry and heavy. Compared to the likes of Patty & Bun or Bleecker Street Burger, it was a pale imitation of the glorious heights a juicy beef burger can reach. Of course, whether it was done to the level intended depends hugely on what mince they were using, whether they prepare it on-site from their own cuts or whatever – as I understand it legal requirements for the cooking of burgers are slightly different depending on how the beef patty is prepared. All this is speculation, I refer you to my “About” section and the fact I am not a professional food reviewer – hopefully I’ll get better at this and remember to ask these questions in future!

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Another disappointing aspect is that a reasonable sized corner of the bun was stale – maybe less than a quarter, but noticeable nonetheless. In terms of taste, it was a decent burger patty, nice savoury beef flavour and seasoned to the right level, and I enjoyed the messy, somewhat mustardy sauce in the sandwich. But I found the texture a little on the heavy side compared to my personal preference, presumably as a result of it being well-done. The bun held together very well despite the saucy mess, and wasn’t intrusive to the flavour of its contents

My friend concurred that it wasn’t a fantastic experience, and this is something that has happened to me before – big somewhere up, take a mate, they serve up a plate of disappointment, feel foolish for being so bold about what they were going to eat. Really I should have asked about the burger and mentioned about the bun while I was there – I’m not the sort of Englishman that quietly chunters about these things, I’ll happily send things back in a restaurant if I’m unhappy, but for whatever reason the thought didn’t occur here. Maybe was because its more of a canteen/grab-n-go vibe, maybe because I was conscious of aiming to review it. I expect I’ll try them again – £6 and local to me is a heady combination of factors, and it certainly wasn’t a bad burger, just a bit of a let-down and not really pushing the buttons I feel need pushing to be a genuinely good one.

6/10