Pizza Burger, Burger Pizza.

Yard Sale x Patty & Bun 

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A few weeks ago I spotted a very intriguing piece on Twitter regarding a forthcoming collaboration between my favourite burger joint and one of my favourite pizza places. Fast forward to last weekend, and I clocked that they were having a pre-launch launch at Patty & Bun‘s test kitchen facility in London Fields. On my birthday. I sent a few messages back and forth – full disclosure here, I have provided playlists for Yard Sale and DJ’d at a yard party they had one Sunday while famed pizziaolo Anthony Falco was doing a guest residency for them – and they very kindly agreed to let me and a few close friends join them to sample the new additions.

I’m going to try my best to keep this review brief, as it was a very informal affair, food eaten standing up, ducking in and out of a rainy evening. But lets deal with the important stuff first, the ingredients.

Yard Sale’s end of the situation is the Smokey Robinson Pizza, with crumbled H.G Walter beef patty, caramelised onions, bacon and smokey P&B mayo with Fior Di latte mozzarella – basically a Smoky Robinson burger, on a pizza.

The  ‘Holy Pepperoni’ Burger takes in a P&B burger patty, two types of Cobble Lane cured pepperoni (which they crisp off on the hot plate before adding to the mix), nduja mayo, Fior Di Latte Mozzarella, Yard Sale’s signature tomato base sauce, basil and rocket.

I took on the burger first, which rolls out across Patty & Bun for the next month. Regular readers may remember my rather scathing review of Honest Burgers’ poor effort at a pizza burger. But watching them prepare these burgers, I was immediately confident that they knew what they were up to. In typically P&B style, they were not shy about slathering loads of sauces on to the buns. Handing them over in their trademark waxed paper wrappers, I unburdened the burger of it’s clothing and immediately was struck by the delicious smell of the combination.

The first bite was confirmation of my suspicions – this is a really, really good burger. The crispy pepperoni added a crunch to the middle, the nduja a little heat, the basil some light freshness, the mozzarella was as melted as you’d hope (at one point giving that incredibly satisfying cheese stretch you always see on pizza adverts!), the patty itself was as juicy and pink as P&B always seem to be. There’s a certain tingling sensation I get in my mouth when I eat a really great steak or burger, I call it a mouthgasm, and this delivered!

Each ingredient brought something worthwhile to the party, I absolutely demolished it, and my friends all agreed that this was an absolute corker. I ended up having a 2nd burger later on before they shut up shop, and that was every bit as good. I firmly expect at some point to pay for a 3rd during the month that this special is on!

On to the pizza that Yard Sale will be selling – as mentioned, essentially the ingredients of P&B’s Smoky Robinson burger on a pizza. This one is a really interesting one – quite an unusual pizza, and it’s probably not for everyone as a result. But you know what, I am fully on board. I was curious to see how they dealt with the burger aspect, and in turns out they literally crumble bits of a patty on to the pizza, which are small enough to cook in the short time it spends in the pizza oven. The caramelised onion is reduced down far more than I’ve ever seen, and so sits well on a pizza, not being too moist, rather being a set of sticky little flavour bombs to add a note of sweetness every so often, amongst the savoury aspect of little burger nuggets and the bacon.

The most curious aspect is the smoky mayo that goes on top – this is where it will probably split the room to a degree. I’m intrigued as to what goes in this – it had a hint of mustard or chilli, it certainly added a heat note to the pizza, just I couldn’t quite put my finger on what exactly it was. I liked it, but it added quite an unusual flavour for a pizza – some may not get on with it I suspect. The base and tomato were as good as I’ve come to expect from Yard Sale, the delicious char on the crusts being right up my alley – sounds a silly thing to highlight, but makes a big difference in my opinion. It doesn’t rank with their best pizzas, and I marginally preferred the Falco special they did, but it’s still very good indeed, and well worth sampling.

So, all-in-all, a triumphant pair of specials. I don’t want anyone labouring under misapprehensions about my relationship with Yard Sale – I ate and drank for free last night, I’ve done paid work for them, I’ll be completely open about these facts. But there is no agenda here, I wasn’t brought in on the expectation I would write this, and if they were not up to muster I wouldn’t be doing so (maybe some will take exception to that, hey ho).

Simply put, the burger is possibly a classic, and the pizza, although probably not for everyone, is banging too.

Pizza Burger – 9/10

Burger Pizza – 8/10

Available until Tuesday 19th September 2017

The Triple Burger Taste-Off, Round 1, Heat 1

My old flatmate ThePetebox texted me a while ago with a ridiculous, but appealing, idea. Go out into London, and sample 3 of the finest burgers around, each time choosing a winner. Do this a bunch of times, then you do the winners in 3’s, down to a grand final, thus working out the best of the best of the best.

We’ve faffed for a few months, but finally made the leap. Meeting up at Patty & Bun in Soho after Pete had bizarrely been teaching Iain Duncan-Smith to beatbox on Radio 2, we had a loose plan involving Lucky Chip and A N Other, which we hadn’t quite worked out yet.

So, to business. The rules of engagement are simple – 3 burgers, not necessarily the same burgers, just the one that we think sounds the best or that is their signature, or that we know to be kick-ass. For me at Patty & Bun, that’s the Jose Jose – in my opinion the finest burger that is permanently on a menu in London.

We ordered, and they were with us in literally a couple of minutes. As always, opening them was a risky business if you weren’t careful, due to the very messy nature of the burger. But it was as glorious as every other time I’ve had one – sweet, spicy sobrassada chorizo relish mixing with smoky mayonnaise and ketchup, the beef perfectly medium-rare (as they’d advised it would be unless we wanted it done longer) and seasoned just right, the springy, light brioche bun holding together like a champ (especially impressive given how sloppy a sandwich this is). But what I’ve come to realise with this one is that the masterstroke is the pickled onions – the acidity of these cuts through the sauces just enough to stop it being sickly, a crucial note in a symphonic burger. We were off to a flying start. The 2 burgers, service and a donation to a charity that was included and explained to us came in at £21.38.

Patty & Bun – Jose Jose Burger – 9/10

After some consideration about where to head next, we decided to include Tommi’s Burger Joint, which is a relatively new addition to the Soho area. I’d been to the Mayfair joint some time ago, and been impressed, but this was only my 2nd crack of the whip. We both ordered cheeseburgers (which come medium), and a pot of chipotle mayo. The price was a very impressively cheap £12.50 for everything. The burgers arrived quickly, wrapped quite similarly to Patty & Bun’s, yet somehow looking nothing like as appealing due to poor branding and presentation. We unwrapped, and being honest they didn’t excite – they looked a bit dry, dull, and overdone. I popped a big blob of chipotle mayo in there and chowed down.

The first couple of bites were a let-down, but once I hit the chipotle mayo, ketchup and so on, it took on an extra dimension – the chipotle mayo in particular was very tasty. However, it was far from as good a burger as I’d remembered from my first trip – the patty is quite thin, I think the burger was marginally overdone, and not as tasty meat as I recalled it having – also Pete mentioned his was a tad gristly. It wasn’t bad – indeed, for £6.25 it is incredible value for central London. But after the Jose Jose this seemed very pedestrian.

Tommi’s Burger Joint – Burger with cheese and chipotle mayo – 6/10

We took a small interlude here to grab an excellent coffee from Soho Bikes

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And then, a short hop on the tube over to Angel, and Lucky Chip at the Old Queen’s Head for their wonderful El Chappo burger.

Beef patty, smoked bacon, roasted jalapeños, blue cheese & aioli. I’ve had this burger 3 times now, and it’s a good un for sure. Chatting to our server, it turns out they press the blue cheese (a lovely, salty, almost spicy cheese) into a disc which melts atop the burger. The aioli is smeared generously over the bottom half of the bun and brings plenty of garlic to the party, the smoked bacon is excellent and cooked as it needs to be in a burger – just crispy enough to be easy to break through, but not a salty pork biscuit. The occasional jalapeño hit is very welcome amongst this all.

The combination here is delicious, but it did bring to mind the clever move of the Jose Jose – those pickled onions.

The melted cheese and aioli, and a quite fatty patty (which is a good thing for flavour, but still), make for a somewhat oily, greasy mouth-feel after a few bites. It could probably use something in there to cut through this – pickled chillies might do this, but the roasted jalapeños here didn’t, even while being very tasty. It’s nit-picking – I really like this burger. But it’s something I feel could improve it. The burgers were £9.50 each, no service as we ordered and paid at the bar.

Lucky Chip – El Chappo – 8/10

So, a clear winner in Patty & Bun’s Jose Jose, despite my affection for the El Chappo. Tommi’s disappointed this time out, although I’m sure I will give them another crack – the price is excellent and the first time I went it was a corker, so this could be an aberration. On to the next trio!

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Remaining heats in this stage (subject to change!)
Honest Burgers, Hawksmoor, Burger & Beyond

Mother Flipper, Dip n Flip, Haché

MeatMission, Burger Bear, Hoi Polloi

Dirty Burger, Bleecker Street, Smokehouse Islington

Mac & Wild, Elliot’s Cafe, Shake Shack

There’s a few obvious contenders I’ve left out because they are only available on specific days that don’t really suit my schedule, and also some well known brands that I feel don’t deserve comparison with most of these. But feel free to leave suggestions for wild cards in the comments, as I suspect I’ve missed a few out!

Burger & Beyond, and beyond

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The bait that caught us

I started hearing about Burger & Beyond last year when I attended the National Burger Day event at Hawker House. Sadly, I was unable to sample their wares that day, and despite the best of intentions I’d not made it to Kerb, the South Bank Market, or any of the other places they’d been around. Then they moved to Dinerama, in my corner of London. I had arranged to meet an old buddy for food last Sunday, we were kicking ideas around, and then it hit me – go and try these sexy looking offerings, and have the scope to test a few other things out from Dinerama’s ample selection.

We met there at 7pm on a Sunday – the place was relatively quiet but had a nice atmosphere, a gentle buzz, the DJ playing an excellent selection of nu-disco, chilled house, that sort of thing – it had me and Alfie Shazam-ing away while we were there! We ordered our burgers, £10 for a hell of a recipe – The Big Lew, with 90 day dry-aged patty (Ribeye, Brisket, Chuck, Featherblade), pancetta bacon, cold smoked American cheese, and marrownaise.

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Alfie nipped to the next hatch, Thunderbird, for some Chipuffalo wings (buffalo sauce, chipotle, coriander, pickled celery, truffled blue cheese dip) and fries (Cajun spice, awesome sauce) – I’m not mad keen on wings so I sat those out, the fries were a bit meh in honesty; nice seasoning and sauce, but they had that weirdly hollow thing going on that some thin fries get, they were good and crispy, but they didn’t have me thinking I’d ever order them myself down the line. The wings are, by Alfie and many other people’s accounts, excellent.

The burgers arrived – they seemed smaller than the impression we’d had from the pic I’d sent to him earlier to get the saliva buds going (the one at the top of the page). But in isolation they were very attractive, well presented burgers, scoring high on the filthy-stuff-that’s-probably-bad-for-you-but-probably-delicious scale.

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Dutty

On first bite, the bread was somewhat dense, heavy. Almost like a bun on the verge of going stale, but I don’t think it was that. However, it tasted great, and held together like a champ (the Kiwi Burger from Shane’s I’d had earlier in the day had disintegrated into a million pieces by the 3rd bite, the less said about that travesty the better). The smoked American cheese seemed to act like a delicious putty, holding things in place. The marrownaise was rich, the streaky bacon strips suitably crispy, if a little over-salty to my palate.

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Plenty of bacon, good good

The patty, with it’s various cuts in there, had a good, beefy flavour, but a somewhat unusual texture. I suspect they grind their meat more coarsely than is common. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it was different, and that unsettled me for the first few mouthfuls while I tried to work out what exactly was different. They’d said it would be served medium, and I’d say it was leaning towards medium-rare, but regular readers will know that is absolutely fine by me!

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It looks raw in the middle, fret not, that’s just an optical illusion from such a juicy burger with sloppy toppings! It was cooked through.

did very much enjoy this burger, but it was cursed by a common problem in this Instagram era – the sexiness of the photos that drew me here set expectations unreasonably high, and it inevitably disappointed on that level. I am keen to try another burger from these guys, as this was a very good effort indeed, but I left the experience feeling slightly let down, which on reflection is an odd thing considering the quality of the burger they served me. The jury is out to a degree, so I’ll avoid giving it a score for now, I think a 2nd sampling would be very useful for me to work out it’s place in my league table! But I would certainly recommend you try it if you see them around, it’s a very welcome addition to the city.

After this, we fancied something sweet, and found ourselves looking at You Doughnut – the options pretty straightforward, just 2 choices available. We both went for the malted milk choc doughnut over the salted popcorn peanut caramel , £3 each for a small portion (£5 for a larger one), which was plenty to sweeten up our evening. These were a delight. Freshly made, light, tiny doughnuts dusted with sugar, maltesers and digestive biscuits crumbled atop, with malted chocolate sauce to finish it off. The combination and balance was fantastic. I’ve generally not got that much of a sweet tooth, so tend to dodge desserts, but the very reasonable price encouraged me to sample these, and I’m glad I did. I will definitely have these on my next visit.

Being the pair of fatties that we are, our minds wandered to other places in the area, and then it hit me – Alfie had to try the brisket bun at Smokestak. Funnily enough they had a stall at Dinerama before opening their permanent site near Brick Lane, and I am not exaggerating when I say that I consider this the best sandwich I’ve ever had in my life. Better than Kappercesein’s majestic cheese toastie. Better than Katz’s Deli’s Pastrami on rye (although I’ve only had the Texas version, not the NYC effort, which looks to be a different beast). Better than the Hamish Macbeth from Deeney’s. I do not say this lightly.

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Little & Large

We ordered one small, one large – £5 and £8.50. For me, the extra is completely worth it for more of that heavenly brisket. The soft bun is toasted wonderfully, so it crackles and crunches to the bite, tiny bits of char at the edges catching your lips. The inside of the top of the bun appears to have been brushed with dripping or similar, the bottom with a sheen of delicious BBQ sauce. The brisket is coiled within the confines of the bun, and topped with a generous handful of sweet, fiery, pickled red chillies.

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Oh baby

Just writing about it has me gently shaking my head in awe at this masterpiece. The balance is flawless, the brisket juicy and tender, the combination just perfect. I’ve had this sandwich 5 times now, firstly at Meatopia 2015, and each time it has been as brilliant as that first one.

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From an earlier visit

There are other items on the menu at Smokestak worth shouting about, the smoked monkfish tail with burnt lemon is one of the best things I’ve ever eaten, and the jacket potato smoked rarebit is a fantastic side dish, but on this trip we simply sat, ordered brisket buns, ate, paid, left, in approximately a 15 minute sitting, something I expect I will do many more times in the future.

So all-in-all, a deeply satisfying evening with a good friend and some lovely food. I need to revisit Burger & Beyond to decide whether it deserves a place at the very top table of London’s burger contenders, but it certainly is in contention. London is in a great place right now in terms of the quality and variety of food available, long may this continue.

 

The Christmas Food Chronicles, Vol 6

Patty & Bun – A Patty’s For Life Not Just For Christmas

Patty & Bun are responsible for my current favourite burger-that-you-could-buy-tomorrow (i.e. not a special), the frankly wondrous, messy Jose Jose. So it was only right and proper that I should head along to sample their festive offering!

I arranged a lunch to catch up with an old DJ buddy from my Ministry of Sound days, and exchange notes from a good year for us both professionally.

We met at the Soho branch of P&B, on Old Compton Street, it was busy and buzzing, but we were seated immediately, which was a pleasant surprise (queues at their restaurants are pretty standard).

I treated myself to a full fat can of Ting (one of the finest soft drinks on God’s green earth, although i actually slightly prefer Ting Light), and we ordered – their famous wings for Martin, and a Christmas burger and smoked pork nuggets for me. Cos I’m a fat little piggy.

The food arrived, the burger in P&B’s trademark wrapper, which doubles as a quasi-plate once you open it up. The burger inside was as impressive looking and obviously messy to handle as you’d expect from this place, completely over the top! Little sprouts, bits of sausage, red cabbage – on lifting the lid it revealed the bacon and stuffing, and a huge splodge of mayo.

Being brutally honest, I was ordering this burger more out of duty than a desire to have this particular sandwich. The beef patties here are really a work of art, and I’m not the world’s biggest fried chicken/turkey fan. This was pretty good though, as the multitude of ingredients, and the generous servings of them, made for a fun taste-a-rama. The actual turkey burger part was mercifully thin, making eating the thing practical, but maybe as a result of this, just a touch dry. The flavours were strangely muted for a P&B burger, which normally slap you upside the head like a hopped-up Rick James. I’m a huge fan of red cabbage at Christmas for instance, but this was a very poor relation to the recipe my mum makes at this time of year, and which makes the Boxing Day sandwiches an utter joy to wolf down. This pickled cabbage was fine, but had nothing much going on other than acidity from being pickled and the flavour of the cabbage itself, which is not anything exciting. Likewise, the sprouts were a bit overdone, and really lacking in oomph – there’s loads of ways to do them that add interest, with bacon, with ginger, butter, all sorts. It was a decent effort, but slightly missed the bullseye for me.

The smoked pork nuggets however – wow! I can’t believe I forgot to take a photo of these after biting into them, you can see the 4 balls in the pic of the food arriving. These were finely minced pork, breaded and fried, the smokiness was only a hint, but the pork was incredibly juicy and tasty, with the jalapeno ketchup absolutely magnificent as a dipping sauce – I’d happily pay a fiver for a bottle of that to take home. These were great, and I can’t recommend them highly enough.

Martin had their famous Winger Winger Chicken Dinner confit wings, which are breaded and coated in a sweet BBQ sauce, and absolutely drop off the bone as you eat them – they also are incredibly messy to eat! Many people rate these as the best wings in London, and they are certainly right up there in my relatively limited experience.

The service was a little off-key as well – nothing terrible, they seated me immediately, but then tried to take our order about 5 seconds after Martin had sat down to join me a few minutes later, then I had to ask several times to get a water after my Ting was finished meaning I was without a drink for a large part of the meal, and one of the waiting staff was giving off that weird “serving you and being civil but giving off an I don’t want to be here” surly vibe – I know everyone has bad days, but if you’re doing American-style food joints, I think service is fundamental.

So a mixed bag of an experience really – it’s not changed my view that it’s the premium burger place in London, but it’s not covered itself in glory for this 2016 Christmas round-up!

Christmas Burger – 7/10

Sides – 9/10

Service 5/10

Overall 7/10

The Christmas Food Chronicles, Vol 5

MEATmission – XXXmas Burger

I’ve never reviewed MEATmission or MEATliquor, as I felt that my involvement with their now defunct MEATtransMISSION radio show made it a bit of a conflict of interests, but now that I don’t have that issue, my first time casting judgement on one of the big hitters of the London burger game.

 

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I managed to sneak in between a pair of gigs on a Friday night, and it was a simple task for me to choose the sustenance from the offerings available – piggies in blankets and the XXXmas Burger, as well as one of their excellent sazeracs. As the meal was an in-and-out hit job, so too will this review be a lot shorter than the others I’ve done so far.

The piggies in blankets were absolutely bloody lovely. Fantastically juicy and meaty, with a wonderful flavour that danced around savoury with a hint of sweetness in there, you could tell that these chipolatas are made from great pork. The bacon they were wrapped in was as crispy as you’d hope, giving the right combination of textures as you bit through that and into the softer sausage they encased. A little blob of mustard to add heat made for a genuinely delicious side dish.


The main event didn’t massively impress me at first glance. The turkey is thin slices kind of folded up in there, going against the grain in the Christmas burger which seems to favour a big lump of, breaded, deep-fried breast.

But if we’re looking at this logically, MEATmission’s approach is more “authentic” – a lot more people will have thin slices on their Christmas dinner plates than breaded, deep fried pieces! The top filling is the rather clever bacon disk they make – basically smushing and cooking a load of bacon so it fits in the bun better than the more normal slices people would use. The stuffing crumbles were a little dry I thought, presumably because of being smaller pieces, but a good touch – stuffing is quintessentially Christmassy for me. The Old Spot patty was excellent, with the cranberry adding that traditional sweetness aspect of a Christmas sarnie. The turkey was super juicy, a result of it being sort of “basted” with the gravy it mentions. An extra tray of gravy to the side to dip this in, a la Blacklock, now that would have been fantastic.

It was a really proper feast of flavours and textures – the turkey was so juicy, savoury and succulent in particular. I demolished the thing in no time at all, and it really did evoke the season to my palate. As I mentioned, stuffing is a big Christmas food at my home – sage & onion being my favourite. A lot of these specials seem to use that as the vehicle for pork, but personally I’ve never really gone down the meaty stuffing route, so this was a welcome choice for me and my tastes. All in all, a success, if not quite at the level of Blacklock or Mac & Wild.

XXXmas Burger – 8/10

Christmassyness – 9/10

Piggies in Blankets – 8.5/10

Sazerac – Boozy/10

Overall 8/10

The Christmas Food Chronicles, Vol 4

Mac & Wild Xmas Burger

Mac & Wild is a restaurant I’ve been wanting to sample after seeing this frankly filthy piece of food smut on the Facebook timeline of a friend who works there…

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And so I naturally sought to find out whether they were doing a Christmas burger – it was a yes, a table was booked, friends bailed at the last minute, all seemed lost, and then a 2nd opportunity arose. Booyakasha. And then 2 of the 3 friends bailed on that one, but I’ll take it, the friend that was left knows his stuff, being responsible for some of the finest drinking dens and food outlets London has seen in the last few years.

In we went, and what a lovely place it is. Tucked away on Great Titchfield Street near Oxford Circus, it wears it’s rustic charm proudly, with ample nods to the hunting and game that are the backbone of this restaurant. Even the door handles are rifles!

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Wooden surfaces, hunting memorabilia, Scottish bits and bobs – all abound inside the restaurant. It is a cosy little place, with room for more seating downstairs, and stock stuffed in every little nook and cranny they can find, including this rather impressive stash of bottled Irn Bru (which as everyone knows, is made in Scotland from girders). They also have loads of bottles of their pre-mixed cocktails around – more on that later.

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We decided that the best approach for the two of us (juuuuust the twoooo of us) was to share a Christmas burger (based around venison and turkey), and their highly rated Venimoo burger – a venison patty and a beef patty, apparently a prize winning combination. After my pleasant experience with Lucky Chip’s Rudolph Burger, I was ready to give more deer a whirl. We also ordered some haggis pops, hispi cabbage with black pudding, cheesy chips, and a venison scotch egg.

The pops arrived first, and they were a fantastic “small bites” type of dish. Little nuggets of haggis in incredibly crispy crumb, served with a dipping sauce called “Red Jon”, a delicious, sweet, sticky, mustardy concoction of redcurrant jelly and mustard. The crispiness of the crumbs was a recurring theme, I have to say that whatever the hell they are doing with their panko crumbs, it is working. If you are going to bread something, and fry it, then serve it and it’s not as crunchy AF… why I oughtta! No issues around that here.

When the rest of the food arrived, I have to say I loved the presentation. There was something about the way the Venimoo was served that really tickled me pink. The bun was darker than your average, with sesame seeds, and maybe it was the divot from some chefs thumb in the top half of the bun, maybe it was the two slightly overlapping patties seemingly drenched in melted cheese, tossed in seemingly carefree and slightly off-kilter… I don’t know, but I had a mental food boner for that sandwich just looking at it.

The Christmas Burger was less impressive to look at, but that’s a bit like saying so and so isn’t as attractive as George Clooney. It’s a high bar they’re being compared against, and there’s no shame in not reaching it. The Scotch Egg was, well, a scotch egg, with a smear of mustard on it’s platter the only visually exciting thing about that – bearing in mind I’m not really a big scotch egg fan. The cabbage – that really didn’t look like much, and had a huge amount of liquid in it, to the point that it bordered towards soupiness, although the chunks of black pudding in there were admirably large. The chips came with a little bowl of cheesy sauce to dip them in.

The Christmas Burger

 

Cross-section of the Christmas Burger

Where to start..?

Let’s start with what we’re here for – the Christmas Burger. It was… it was… good. Not outstanding, for reasons more of assembly and ease of consumption than anything else.

It was very tasty. The confit turkey was juicy, and as mentioned earlier, outstandingly crispy. It was also massive, which meant that on top of the other fillings it was a nightmare to try and eat. We may have made this trickier by cutting in half, I can’t say as I’ve not eaten one without cutting in half, but the Blacklock burger was actually far easier to handle when cleft in twain (as I did on my return visit earlier this week). At one point the last bit of the venison patty squirted out and landed in my lap, so it wasn’t ideal construction from an engineering point of view. The turkey element was simply so thick it just made the whole sandwich very hard to eat in the way God intended. Which is a dreadful shame, as the component parts were actually delicious, the two meat elements working very nicely with the brie and cranberry. The venison sausage patty was fantastic. It had bread sauce in there alongside the cranberry , which practically made me squeal with delight (I’ve become a bit fixated on what Christmassy elements make it into these sandwiches), but I suspect it’s that lubricant that made the patties slip around so much as I tried to eat them.
The cabbage really was a bit of a let-down, especially at the price. It just seemed to be lacking any really bold flavours, it needed more seasoning to my palate, the black pudding was nice enough, but that dish was definitely the poor relation of this meal. I didn’t get any real hit of heat from the mustard, and I certainly wouldn’t recommend that as a side dish.

The chips were good, if nothing to write home about – I’m not someone who is easy to impress with chips, but am quick to fault bad ones. These were crispy, and fluffy inside, the cheese sauce was great (although this seems an odd way to serve cheese sauce to me, but there you go, and you could always pour it over the chips when they arrive). The price is about par for the course for London, and I’ve no negative things to say about these. They were chips, executed well.

Scotch Egg – super crunchy crumbs!
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Will you look at that egg… LOOK AT IT!

The venison scotch egg was, to me, the surprise package. I would never normally go for a scotch egg, for the simple reason that I rarely eat egg. This was, as with the other breaded items, phenomenally crunchy. The venison inside was juicy and moist and flavourful, and just a little pink. The egg… I don’t really understand how the chef did it to be honest. It was remarkable. My companion called it the perfect sous vide egg I think. It was jelly-like, but distinctly cooked. The yolks was runny but glutinous, all at once. It was delicious, I could happily stick one of those in my packed lunch any time. The mustard was a great, warming, sharp accompaniment.

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Instagram strikes again – the Venimoo
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Yes, it’s upside down

And finally the Venimoo. A beef patty and a venison patty with cheese, bearnaise and caramelised onions, and we added the candied bacon. I’d insisted we order this, as frankly it sounded amazing. You know what? It was amazing. It is amazing. It knocked the Christmas Burger out of the park. I need to go back and try it again to really be sure, but its a real contender for my favourite burger that you could go and buy tomorrow (the best two I’ve ever had were limited editions that are apparently not to be repeated sadly, the Super Fatty Patty and the World Peace Burger).

The marriage of the venison and beef as flavours and textures was just superb. The melted cheese and bearnaise sauce gave it an incredible juicy succulence, aided by the sweet caramelised onions. The candied bacon added snap and another touch of sweetness, but also salt. It really is a phenomenal burger. I was actually a little taken aback by how much I enjoyed it – I’d remarked to my server about how burger’d out I was after so many trips for this Christmas specials project! At a tenner (or £11.70 with the bacon), it’s actually pretty reasonable value in the grand scheme of fancy London burgers, bearing in mind the Fitzrovia location and the fact that you get two substantial patties in there.

As for the drinks, I had a  Drygate Bearface lager (heavy on the hops, light on the tongue it proclaimed on the bottle, and that was pretty much accurate), I liked this, Damian did not, c’est la vie.

I then tried glass of their Forager bottled cocktail that so impressed me a bottle was purchased for a Christmas present for my dad, kind of reminiscent of an old fashioned, but the honey in there was tangible on the tongue, giving it a somewhat velvety mouth-feel, and there was a almost a note of cinnamon or something in there, presumably something to do with the pine leaf tincture? Not that I have the faintest clue what a tincture is. And finally a warm mug of their Yuletide bottled cocktail, which was a great hot toddy type of drink, lovely spiced, warming flavours perfect for the season.

Damian in his happy place

I’m not much of a desserts man, but we got a sticky toffee pudding in too. This was sensational. Probably the best I’ve ever had, and that’s saying something considering how good the Hawksmoor one is. Much lighter sponge than many, the warm sauce and ice cream combined for a delightful sensation. Highly recommended, although there’s no way I’d be able to handle a full one on my own, that would be a bit too sweet for my palate.

So all in all, a bloody brilliant meal. I’ll definitely be back, that’s for sure. The Christmas Burger maybe didn’t quite hit the heights I’d hoped, but the Venimoo is a marvel, and I’m genuinely wondering if it might be my new favourite burger, I can’t wait to try that again.

The rest of the food was excellent, apart from the rather disappointing cabbage. But there’s a heap of other items I’m keen to sample, and I could easily see this restaurant being a regular haunt for me in the future.

Christmas Burger – 8/10 (would have been higher if it was a little more manageable as a sandwich!)

Venimoo – 9/10

Breadcrumb Crunchiness where applicable – 10/10

Yolk sexiness – 17/10

Value – 8/10

Overall – 8.5/10 (Can’t justify it matching the Blacklock score, but a better side choice than the cabbage and it might have matched it)

The Christmas Food Chronicles, Vol 3

The Christmas Sandwich, Blacklock

When I declared my intent to review as many leading Christmas burgers as possible, I had several people send me pictures and info about this one, and by gum, it was something to get the loins twitching.

I’d eaten at Blacklock once before, gorging myself on their delicious chops of lamb, pork and beef that they cook over charcoal, and so I had high expectations, which were only amplified by the pictures and descriptions sent my way.

To business. This sandwich is a beast. It costs £15, so it needs to be special to justify itself. “What’s in it?” you cry? Well, it’s there below, but I’ll type it out too – Chargrilled Norfolk Turkey Breast, sausage and onion patty, middlewhite bacon, greens and cranberry ketchup in a demi brioche bun, served with turkey gravy for dipping.

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We also ordered a whole heck load of other bits and bobs, including a whopping big piece of Prime Rib to share, at the bargain Monday price of £5/100g – our piece was, I believe, 950g or thereabouts. Apparently this is a normal deal here on Mondays, discounted prices on the meat that are more or less what they paid the butchers. The staff were all incredibly friendly and nice, although to give full disclosure I knew one of the waitresses, my companions knew one or two other staff members, so it was probably a lot more informal than for a regular diner. However, the atmosphere around the the whole basement venue seemed to reflect this very laid back vibe. Old fashioneds arrived at the table to much moaning and groaning (2pm on a Monday is pretty early to be back on the hard stuff!), but waste not, want not, down they went, and very lovely they were too.

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The conversation and company was lively enough that I have no idea how long it took for the food to come out, but it seemed very prompt. And you know what? The Christmas Sandwich was a thing of true beauty.

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Yes, there’s an Instagram filter on this picture

I’m going to talk you through this before dealing with the rest of the meal, because this was the star of the show. I mean look at it… its a beast. It’s also a beauty. So it has everything you need to turn this into a Disney film.

Happily, despite it’s enormous size, this is a sandwich that you can eat with your hands. I get really quite annoyed at the trend towards novelty burgers that no human could pick up and eat as a sandwich, and therefore require a knife and fork. That’s a failure of design and execution, straight off the bat. This required careful handling, but I ate the whole damn thing with my hands, dipping merrily away into the gravy.

I remarked during my review of the Honest Christmas Burger that the flavour combination wasn’t sufficiently “Christmassy” – no such concerns here. This hit most of the notes I listed in that review – sage and onion in the sausage patty, the cranberry ketchup gave the perfect note of sweetness, the bacon shone through powerfully, while the grilled turkey and turkey gravy made sure that the birds of the season did their bit. The combination of textures and flavours was just outstanding – savoury, salty, sweet. Charred edges on the grilled turkey, perfectly crispy bacon, the sausage patty in there… my God, what a creation. On it’s own it’s a bloody brilliant sandwich – with the gravy to dip it in? Wow. Just awesome.

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Hnnnnnnnng….

You’ll note on this picture how evenly spread the component parts are too – meaning each mouthful was a great combination of the various elements. The greens were fantastic too – giving a little touch of freshness in something that could have been overpoweringly dense. Even with such a packed sandwich, being dipped over and over into a gravy boat, the bun held together like a champ until the last mouthful, and wasn’t too sweet, as some brioche buns can be.

Have to spare a moment for the cranberry ketchup, which was a million miles better than any cranberry sauce/jam/pickle or whatever else I’ve ever had. Rich, sweet, some acidity in there, thick and sticky and oozing throughout the sandwich as I ate it, it was absolutely what this needed with so many savoury notes surrounding it. I really can’t emphasise enough how superb this sandwich is.

 

The rest of the meal stood up as excellent in its own right – superb prime rib that practically melted in the mouth, and had all the flavour you’d hope for from such a cut of beef. Delicious side dishes across the board, the stand-out probably the 10-hour ash roasted sweet potatoes – apparently they chuck these in the embers at the end of the night and they are ready the next day, and they are delicious, the perfectly cooked flesh complemented with lovely seasoning and the charred skins giving great texture and flavour. The courgettes with Doddington cheese were a delight too – thick cut but succulent and juicy, and the cheese adds some oomph to a vegetable that lacks much of it’s own character when up against more extrovert foods! The barbecued baby gems hiding behind someone’s hand there (I’m still ironing out some kinks in my reviewing haha!)… I could take or leave them to be honest, but one of the group bloody loves them, and he’s one of the best managers in the hospitality game, so his opinion is worth more than mine!

All in all, there was little to fault in this whole experience – from the corny 80s rock anthem blasting away inside the front door where you take the steps down into the restaurant, the friendly welcome, knowledgable staff, but most importantly, the absolutely bloody brilliant food. The Christmas sandwich really was outstanding, I can’t recommend it highly enough. It’s too early for a coronation, but this will take some beating – if you want to know just how highly I think of it, well, take a wild guess where I’m going for lunch just 7 days after eating the one I’m reviewing here…

Christmas Sandwich – 9.9/10

Christmassyness – 9/10

Steak – 8.5/10

Sides – 7.5/10

Service – 8/10

Overall – 9/10

 

The Christmas Food Chronicles, Vol 2

Lucky Chip – Rudolph Burger

Lucky Chip is, by my reckoning, one of the most consistently excellent burger joints in London. Quite why it hasn’t grown in the way Honest, Patty & Bun or Meat Liquor have, I don’t know. But they have always given good burger.

However, the big standout compared to others is that they consistently produce burger specials that not only look good on paper and Instagram, but also taste incredible. Their World Peace Burger in collaboration with Bleecker Street was a work of art, probably the 2nd best burger I’ve ever eaten.

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So the unveiling of their Christmas menu immediately grabbed my attention. The instagram picture of the Rudolph Burger, a deer-based offering, held it.

So a lunch date was set with a buddy, and in we went.

For me it was quite easy; a Rudolph Burger, and something else festive, so turkey nuggets jumped off the page. My friend went for a Santa’s Little Helper hot dog, chilli cheese fries & buffalo wings, which weirdly don’t seem to be on the above menu.

When the burger landed, it wasn’t the most beautifully presented thing in the world, but this is junk food, and I know how deceptive appearances can be with this stuff.

The wings and some cheesey fries arrived with it, with a mention that the rest would be with us shortly. Thus began a strange and confusing back and forth!

But first things first – the burger. I have to say, it was delicious. We were both struck at how little the burger itself tasted like venison as we know it, maybe that’s a product of it being minced and cooked burger style, but it did have a note of the gaminess you’d expect from that meat. The other fillings were generous in quantity and nicely spread throughout the sandwich, giving each mouthful a great balance of flavours and textures. The blueberry, blackberry & gin jam gave a lovely hit of sweetness and just enough acidity, which counterbalanced the stilton very well indeed. It was cooked to around medium, and even though there was a lot of juice flying around, the bun held together excellently throughout my demolition job.

The wings were decent – although that’s my verdict as someone who isn’t much of a wings connoisseur. I have to say that the pepper sauce was extremely good, delivering an excellent slap of heat to the tastebuds and having a nice thick, sticky, viscous character. They weren’t the meatiest wings I’ve ever had, and I’m not the biggest “on the bone” chicken fan in general, but yeah – these did what you’d hope, and I’d happily recommend them, although I’d have preferred a blue cheese dip to the more herby one we got.

So far so good, except for the fact they’d brought the wrong fries out, and no hot dog or nuggets. We pointed this out and they took the fries very apologetically, and promised the rest would be with us soon. And lo, the nuggets arrived.

The turkey nuggets were very enjoyable indeed – big, solid chunks of turkey breast meat, breaded and presumably deep-fried, and served with garlic aioli. Turkey being what it is, they didn’t have a strong flavour in and of themselves, but were well seasoned and the breadcrumb was pleasingly crunchy to the bite. The aioli could have handled a touch more garlic, but then I like to smash my tastebuds with a hammer with flavours and seasoning, and there was nothing really “wrong” with it, I’d just like everything to have more garlic in it really!

After a little while longer, the chili cheese fries and hot dog arrived. Look at how happy he is! This was a temporary pleasure, until I pointed out that his dog was missing it’s onions and cheese. Another quick back and forth later, and after much apologising and offering of refunds, a ramekin of lovely, sweet caramelised onions and a massive tray of grated cheese (it seemed to be something like a Leerdammer, which is great for melting in food like this) arrived.

I should note – the staff were all lovely, all this happened in a very friendly context, they offered refunds/free rounds of drinks against our protestations not to worry – it was a bit chaotic but it was mid afternoon on a Saturday, the pub was pretty quiet, I suspect there was just a slightly less-than-alert kitchen staff member nursing a hangover and taking their eye off the ball. It really didn’t spoil the experience, and they handled it like champs.

The fries were pretty good – not at the God-level of Meat Liquor’s incredible chilli cheese fries, which are possibly my favourite side in london, but these were sufficiently different to occupy their own corner of the map. The chilli contained both minced beef and pulled pork, and was very mildly spiced. The ample cheese was thoroughly melted within the mix, creating huge conjoined blobs of fries, chilli and cheese – to my mind, this was a happy outcome. I enjoyed the different textures from the two types of meat in there.

The hot dog was ok – obviously it was a bit of a cock-up how it was served, and that detracted from it. Having seen and tested the excellence of Dirty Bones’ hot dogs, this was a pretty poor effort really by comparison, although at a slightly lower price point – it didn’t look great, and tasted pretty meh. It improved hugely with the addition of the onions and cheese, and it was a perfectly decent frankfurter in there, but when you’re eating out you want something you couldn’t do at home – this, when it first arrived, looked like something I might drunkenly cobble together at home at 4am after a night out.

So all in all, a mixed bag as an experience, but a cracking Christmas burger at the heart of it. I’ve never had these service issues there before, and as I mentioned. they handled it all really well. The hot dog and sides ranged from mediocre to good – but I’d have no hesitation in recommending the Rudolph burger.

Burger – 8/10

Christmassyness – 8/10

Sides – 6/10

Service – Doh!/10

Overall score – 7.5/10

The Christmas Food Chronicles, Vol 1

Simply put, I’ll be eating and reviewing as many Christmas-related items of food as I can lay my hands on in the coming weeks in the gaps between probably the busiest month of my life, while trying to avoid becoming a total blimp.

Up first – the Honest Christmas Burger.

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I’d wanted to start elsewhere as my most recent burger review was a rather unflattering take on their pizza burger, and I was concerned that if I didn’t enjoy this then it would seem like I have it in for them, which I don’t (the Tribute is one of the best burgers in London).

But due to logistics and time constraints, this was the sensible choice, the Soho branch, just up from the theatre where me and my friend were off to watch some comedy later that Sunday night (God bless Leicester Square Theatre‘s work-in-progress events, where I’ve seen Vic & Bob, Stewart Lee and Jack Whitehall, all for about £15 each).

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Happily, it looked almost exactly as advertised, which was huge progress after the Pizza Burger Incident. The cheese oozed satisfyingly out of the huge slab of deep-fried camembert when I picked it up and aimed it towards my hopeful mouth.

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Generous blobs of thick, sticky cranberry sauce tumbled out and into the tray. I bit in, and while it was pretty tasty, the overwhelming flavour was the cheese, which almost entirely buried Honest’s excellent patty, which was done exactly as I like it, the perfect medium-rare, as requested.

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Flavours dominating others is occupational hazard with novelty specials in the burger game, and I’m certainly not saying it was an unpleasant flavour. However, I would have to say that other than the cranberry sauce, there wasn’t much about the combination I was getting that screamed “IIIIIITTTTTT’S CHRIIIIIIISTMAS” in the manner my tastebuds had been hoping. The bacon was a little lost in the mix too, smothered in an unashamedly gluttonous cheese-fest.

Christmas cheese is of course a huge part of the festive experience for many people – my family included. I’m often tasked with bringing several hundredweight of dairy up to the seasonal get together because of my proximity to Borough and Broadway markets. But if you asked me to name the definitive Christmas cheese, it would be stilton. And if you asked me to name the flavours that characterise Christmas, you’d have sage & onion stuffing, pigs in blankets, turkey, chestnuts in that list alongside cranberry sauce, with deep-fried camembert not really anywhere near my radar – maybe I’m out of the loop on that one, but that’s my perspective anyway.

The rosemary fries were standardly brilliant and generous in portion-size, Honest really do put a lot of burger joints to shame with that side of things. We tried their Christmas cocktail too – combined with the burger and fries that was a bit of a meal-deal-steal at £16, the cocktail featuring cranberry, maple syrup and bourbon, and suited the experience nicely.

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All-in-all, I’d class this as a good burger, but other than the cranberry sauce, not really a very good Christmas burger.

I have a laundry list of places I’m aiming to try out – Lucky Chip, Blacklock, Mac & Wild, Patty & Bun, Meat Liquor off the top of my head for starters – but if you have any London-based suggestions feel free to add a comment below and I’ll try to include them too!

Taste 7/10

Value 10/10

Christmasssyness 4/10

Overall score 7/10